Custom Art by Melissa Bonet

Brain Surgery From the inside.

Brain lapse event  Brain  surgery from the inside.



Went through a memory lapse today that took too long to get a memory retrieved.. Ive been spoofed by a few look alikes of myself.. they dont know how to count randomly without stumbling. This new practice tun I hope will be more fruitful My symbiont was fooled and was allowed to be ordered to look at icons around me that frightened me. Now were stuck wondering what to do. as this threat never seems to end until I get another edge then another. so as a  very large shake my confidence sampler was made tonight I have to arrange for the same trick to be played on myself and schedule it.. 

If I don't its going to just take me by surprise again.

This is the auto-finder function the way the brain controls the eye sight to govern what to look at in a moments notice.
for years a  form of communication was relied on for feedback and monitoring the thoughts. the practice has been shunned for the last few days so it stands to chance that the symbiont was doing its job in protecting me. by letting this happen. Not warning me isn't my style.. nor is this copy of the symbiont software to  as much as talk about icons.

The auto-finder is supposed to be strictly made for  functions and commands. On large part because  the neurons needed to communicate   in a whole language that's fast enough to flow my brain communications are way to slow when dealing with a muscle neuron to have to depend on a twitch.

I have a  personality profile made up and it depicts individual wants desires and allows my brain  to do the detective like deduction.. the one who wanted  it to happen tonight Oked the ID as a cop. Unsure as to which cop so far based on who benefits file being processed still but getting close.
The fact is the  personalities that are running the old software have been allowed to do the most horrendous things.. once cataloged its easier to know when they are going to happen.

The whole behavior program that was started in my brain  runs off a principle.. allow me to do something that will harm the programmer. then the punishment file that's programmed into here is initialized.
using a formula meant to keep myself from thinking about  anyone under age and sex in the same thought.
right now its spending a lot of time trying to play catch up.. Its failing. It relies on fear pot shots to get its way and a version of me who beives these short lived threats.  When something goes wrong its trained to berate me and force me to come up with a reason why things  went wrong being habitually geared to serve the people who wrote the original program. The ways Ive been fighting back have been multi teared.. but the copy of me giving into these tactics  doesn't have the same skills memory or  at times the same desires.

Ive been successful at telling all the personalities in here to not listen to me unless they see a certain thing or a number or something in the way.. that doesn't stop the copy of myself who is being used from haplessly giving into these things with a willing participant who pretends to be me.. or at least the personality that evolved from all the behavior modification.  enough of these copies in a  row and its hard to get control back.

The solution or answer is found after the ordeal which points to a shadow personality claiming to be me.. but not the memory to maintain the software I wrote  for the behavior improvement.

We.. meaning myself and The symbiont have used a communication soft ware for some time to go over all the copies of us being portrayed.
If I had A Polygraph machine of my own I could map the electro feedback on a piece of print paper as it happened and Gage the feeling so as to make arrangements  to not be surprised any more.

 The leading causes other than the personality that emerged.. some  behavior left over that  is addicted to the drama and keeps inventing bad guys to thwart and the habit is so engrained its other versions of me who need to be retrained that they don't need to make so many bad guys to fight.
recently parts of the frontal lobes have been burning yet again.. same author.. same style  Not me.. but I'm steadily encroaching a solution to fix it.
It seems threatening the symbiont with a trip to the doctors to remove it seems to buy me time.
Take the decision out of my hands and place into someones  who isn't in love with the Symbiont so as to not feel sorry for this juvenile delinquent who keeps burning the walls for attention.

As soon as I typed that.. immediate submission.

Also that could be them trying not to get discovered.. this thing IS High tech.

ONCE THEY KNOW I mean business they pipe down as well.

I remember back in the Garage  at the height of my introduction to this monstrosity I was able to scream at these people who wouldn't relent harassing me from the inside of my brain.. and whack myself in the head to make them stop at times or drive my fist through George Grassi's wall I was rewarded with  a couple hours of solace but not till I heard a voice say... OK OKAY.!


I made a program last night I have yet to implement  a source code is needed to initiate it for a deliberate brain burn.

So far after mapping some of the brain burns they are left overs of a personality who wants to burn in a way to make me move certain directions the burn happens when I fight to maintain my bodies position or head position against their will  the symbiont will try to make them spell bad is one of the problems we encountered as well. as a help to colorize these  infiltrators the symbiont is wracking up points with me for effort but not for manual dexterity.
I have  the Pluto Form Bruce Willis going on a mission exploiting these attempts as well. using the gile adopted from the movie DIE HARD
the comical part  about this process is every personality that makes up a Pluto Form has to be a CLICHE'  otherwise their  expected experience doesn't work and the program continues on tormenting me in misguided over zealous Latin. Im almost willing to sick the Jackal on them or Jimmy the Tulip.

But that would just attract more  Gumbas

You have to constantly remind yourself the  authors of this program have a high degree of control over what THEY DON'T WANT.
so the rest is allowed.


The symbiont has the option to record their intentions and supplement their attempts with a word of oatmeal between their communications so they cannot accomplish their agenda. Again we would have to have a copy of the symbiont obeying this rule.. as they might have a completely different rule set for the Symbiont to follow  still doing its thing from the beginning.

Picture 2 fire walls fighting each other on different computers.
the rule sets govern whats let through.

Or Look at it from the mother of a Klingon baby whose been made to show respect for society.   the old program that makes this Kilgnon so unruly is still there.
and then there's the illusion of destroying the enemy by destroying brain cells.. I keep having to forbid it and yet?

we work off the communication that gets it to start.

We keep making maneuvers to cut off access to linguistic points so they cannot communicate.. and this is promising.. I'm just sick of the habit that was engrained to torment me after I  thought everything was going to be OK.. Thank goodness the personality who is responsible for this cannot follow the Pluto Form frame work.

I do know the brain burn is conditional as my look alike is caught plenty of time trying to disguise it around the time I burp acid reflux.

 It started once I was entertaining personalities who were attempting to figure it out and it never stopped aligning itself up with my burps. so I know its not a wild event.
The symbiont in its misguided effort might have been trying to signal to me about its non natural  like nature.

I mapped it the one night responding to me keeping ledgers about it as well.

It would burn at each instance of me recording the events around the brain burn . back then the brain burn was isolated to a small spot  at the top of my left lobe. and well I tried to punish it one night with its own burn.. the effect spread to the frontal pre frontal and upper lobes.

Making what I thought  was an already bad situation into a gawd awe-full situation. Back then it happened whenever Daniel Amendolas personality wouldn't want something to happen.. It felt  a lot like a NOOGY back then. This effect is daily. and I want him to get his.


If the Circle I knew back then is still  acting as a  well trained torture dog who still takes commands in German or Italian then  that could be a problem as well. My body has been exposed to foreign languages to  make hidden commands to force my body around while my conscious  tries to desperately keep up by labeling their effects.

One more theory is circle is giving them hell. and it looks like hes talking to me but really is talking to the one in the drivers seat who has too many parts per million messages with the wrong or a different  motivation.

Something were figuring out with the benefit houses.


.. The frontal lobes though are a dangerous place to mess  around with.. all the feedback needed to give back to the symbiont over what went wrong  is being made missing in places and causing concern over my ability to keep notes.. as the personality that was left after  tonight's debockle couldn't or didn't want to code..At least we got a hard to forget  scary sample of the persons effects as to make us watch out for it in the future.
The personality has trouble holding onto  different personalities at once. as soon as I try to count randomly this person fails. their memory doesn't support the mental ability to switch personalities between Pluto Forms and take on parts of any threat.. 

The threats are also being told to be let to be not believed.. that's another section of my brain entirely. To fixed that again requires celebration with belief cycles again.


Well that's all In have to report tonight I could write more.. but time is short.

Melissa Adrain Bonet